


Let's work it out, boy.

by MamaWouldBeSoProud



Category: Hockey RPF
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Basically William Nylander is a giant drama queen, Blow Jobs, Butt Plugs, First Time, First Time Blow Jobs, Fluff and Smut, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Pining, Slow Burn, so so much pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-03
Updated: 2017-09-03
Packaged: 2018-12-23 12:57:01
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 14,310
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11990259
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MamaWouldBeSoProud/pseuds/MamaWouldBeSoProud
Summary: Through all of his summer, through all the photo shoots of him wearing his gold medal and talking about that jumping-at-Lundqvist thing, there was that one thought, that sorta dragged him down. Made sure he never got to enjoy the sunshine or the insane smell of Swedish summertime. Like a little raincloud just over his head. Kappy. Kappy and his stupid, perfect, cherry red lips. Will is about ready to go on a murder spree.The fic in which William Nylander is crazy in love with his team mate, has casual hook-ups in garden sheds and tries to come out to his team, without having to go to a gay club with Mo as his wingman.





	Let's work it out, boy.

**Author's Note:**

> This is a work of fiction! None of this has happened (at least it would be a crazy coincidence, if it actually did!). If you are one of the people mentioned in this story or know them personally - please close this fucking tab right now and don't look back. Seriously. You have been warned. Also, I am so very sorry.
> 
> I have included a real, existing girlfriend of one of the characters in this, though I don't mention her name. I want to make it very clear that I have nothing against this girl (or know anything about her really...) and that she is just a handy device for the plot of this fic. 
> 
>  
> 
> The title is taken from the song "2 become 1" by the Spice Girls, because I am a) very old and b) a massive sap. Also, I started liking this song ironically and then all of the irony sorta vanished. 
> 
> As always: I apologize for all mistakes. This is not my first language.

Aaah, the joys of social media. It's four in the morning, Will is lying in his bed in his parent's house in Stockholm and has just opened Instagram. He doesn't know what woke him up, but somehow he can't go back to sleep and so he scrolls through picture after picture of his friends playing golf or lying at beaches with turquoise water in the background. Willy taps the little heart underneath a couple of pictures and then – just as he decides to maybe lock the screen and attempt another try at deep slumber – he clicks on a story he should _not_ have clicked on and the world tips on its axis.

It's not a great video, objectively speaking. It's mostly grainy and a little too dark. It shows a guy standing at baggage claim, with a backwards baseball cap on his head and unruly curls sticking out underneath it. He smiles a little and turns away and the caption reads “He missed me so much”. Kappy's girlfriend posted it ten minutes ago. And Will suddenly wants to hurl his fucking phone out of his fucking window.

*

It's been a really fun summer so far. Seriously, Will can't complain. He won at World's, travelled with friends, spent an outrageous amount of time in the company of very attractive men and trained his body into the best possible shape for the upcoming season. He has had his fun. Probably too much fun, if you count the dozen or so people he has hooked up with in various locations all over the world.

There was the cute blond dude in Cologne, who hung around in front of their team hotel every night. There was the guy in Prague, who blew him in the toilet stall of that weird nightclub Pastrnak dragged him to. There was the youth coach of that hockey camp Will helped out at for one day. He had probably been Will's favorite, because he truly didn't care about Will's money or his personality even one bit. He had just taken Will back to his place at the end of the day and then proceeded to fuck him into pieces all over his living room and kitchen counter and bed room and even on the _porch_. Will had had serious problems walking the next day. It had been exhilarating.

But through all of his hook-ups and his trips to different countries, through all the photo shoots of him wearing his gold medal and talking about that jumping-at-Lundqvist thing, there was that one thought that sorta dragged him down. Made sure he never got to enjoy the sunshine or the insane smell of Swedish summertime. Like a little raincloud just over his head. _Kappy_. Kappy and his stupid, perfect, cherry red lips. Will is about ready to go on a murder spree.

*

The thing is: Kappy is Will's best friend. Has been ever since a few years ago, when they both came to Toronto and found each other like two magnets in a sea of wood chips. They found each other and then they just- spent all of their time together. Like, _all_ of their fucking time. At the beginning of the last season they moved in together. Right after Will had gotten seriously drunk and made out with a hot male bartender in a dingy bar somewhere in Ontario. His original plan had been to tell Kappy about being gay and maybe even his stupid crush on him like a normal person, but adulting is apparently really hard and Will is still trying to get the hang of it.

So Kappy had seen him mack on this dude and like the bestest of bros had dragged Will out of the bar and into an uber, before anybody could take a picture of it. And then he had just continued to treat Will like he had always treated him. Will has wanted to talk to Kappy about it ever since, but he also knows a good thing when it falls into his lap, so mostly – he has just kept his fucking mouth shut.

He hasn't said anything when Kappy traipsed around their apartment in only boxers, his insane abs on display for Will's hungry eyes. He hasn't said anything when Kappy had a cold and felt miserable and took to sleeping in Will's bed for almost an entire week. He hasn't said anything when Kappy met his girlfriend and brought her home the first and then the second time. It's his unique way of saying “Thank you for having my back, bro!” It's his unique way of majorly chickening out.

And it had worked so, so well. Kappy's girl was nice. A little too much into her own looks, if Will was completely honest, but on the other hand – he needed at least 40 minutes after every game to get his hair exactly the way he wanted it, so maybe he isn't the one to point fingers. Will had been really polite in the beginning and then – overcompensating for his stupid jealousy – increasingly charming with her. It had worked so well that Kappy once said “Dude, are actually you hitting on my girlfriend right in front of me? Back _off_!” They had laughed, but something in Kappy's face had told Will he was only half joking. Kappy and his girl had fucked like rabbits that night, loud enough for Will to hear even through his noise-cancelling headphones. He had dialed back the charm a bit after that.

Yes, it had worked so, so well. Until Will got drunk and fucked it all up of course. Because losing to the Capitals in the fucking playoffs was a big fat bummer, but it was also awesome to have come that far in the first place. So the team went out and got spectacularly drunk. They had a private backroom in some club downtown and the champagne and beer and vodka and whatever else made Will very lose with his words and his affections. So it had been easy to push Kappy into a dark corner next to the bathrooms and kiss him openmouthed. It had been easy to rake his fingers through Kappy's locks and press himself into Kappy's muscular frame and pretend – just for a fucking second – that _this_ was something he could actually have.

You know what hadn't been easy? Being pushed away by Kappy. The slightest hint of panic in Kappy's face before politeness and gentleness had taken over and Kappy whispered “Sorry, Will” before he went away and left Will standing in the dark. Being discovered there by Marty, who just came back from the restroom and who apparently had seen the whole thing. Who then walked Will home and told him in no uncertain terms, that if anybody ever had the slightest problem with Will kissing dudes, he should let Marty know and he would take care of the rest. Being crushed into the fiercest hug Will had ever received and trying valiantly not to cry. _That_ really hadn't been easy at all.

*

It's much better now, Will thinks the next morning, when he has finally made it downstairs for breakfast. Sure, it was awkward as hell, when he had to say goodbye to Kappy two days later and then fly off to World's. It was weird blocking Kappy's number on his phone, because apparently Will is the biggest chickenshit who ever lived. He hasn't trusted himself with having to reply to all the nice messages of support coming from Kappy. He hasn't trusted himself at all with his phone anymore. So apart from posting a few pictures on Instagram, he has tried to stay away from social media all together. No use in seeing Kappy and his beautiful girlfriend making out on a bridge in fucking Finland. (Alright, so maybe he hasn't been able to stay away _completely_.)

It's much better now, even though he misses his best friend like crazy. Misses the person he checked in with at the end of every day. Misses his stupid, horrible jokes and his offkey singing in the car. It's been fucking _months_ since they talked, but Will finds himself at least two or three times every day with his phone already in his hands, wanting to send Kappy a picture or a text message about something he has just seen that made him think of him. At least he doesn't dream of Kappy anymore. At least he jerks off to the image of other people now. Well, mostly. Actually not. Will is a shitty liar.

“Guess who's coming over for lunch today,” his father says, as Will finishes his second bowl of cereal. He looks up to see his dad, Michael, lock the screen of his phone with a grin. “Little Nicklas Bäckström, the current world champion of hockey,” he says cheerily. Will starts to smile. “Really?” he asks. “How come?” Michael shrugs. “Apparently he is bored in that pissy little village of his,” he replies while wiping down the kitchen counter with a wet cloth. “Wants to see the buzzing life of the city and I'm guessing he's also interested in mooching some of our famous summer barbecue.” Will snorts into his bowl. Their lake house at the outskirts of Stockholm couldn't be further away from “buzzing city life” if you ask him, but then again he's happy to see Nicky again, so he won't complain.

Apart from being an insanely good hockey player and one of the nicest people Will has ever met, Nicky is also on the list of Will's hookups of the summer. Well, they made out when they won World's. That barely registers as hooking up in Will's opinion, but it was good enough to leave him buzzing with excitement for weeks afterwards. Nicky is a good kisser and his hockey skills alone are enough of a reason to get Will half hard.

“I'll go tell Alex,” Will says before putting his bowl into the dishwasher, because his mama didn't raise a slob. “Do that,” Michael answers. “If he looks up long enough from his phone to actually register that somebody else than his girl is talking to him.” Will sniggers as he leaves the kitchen. It's true, ever since Alex met Elin on the tennis court a few weeks ago, he has been texting and talking to her on the phone so much, Will is pretty sure he has to charge the damn thing at least twice a day. Oh well, to be young and in love, he thinks a little bitterly. Wouldn't _that_ be fucking nice.

“Lunch” in Nicklas Bäckström's book seems to mean “not before 3 pm”, so even though Will has gotten up fairly late and takes his sweet-ass time with his workout session, he still has a lot of time before their visitor arrives. Which means he takes an extra long shower, hot water pounding on his sore muscles, and soaps up thoroughly, relishing in the warmth and the coziness.

He has almost slipped up again today. There was a Finnish kid at the practice facility and he had cursed like a fucking sailor every time Will beat him in something. By the end of his workout, Will wanted to text Kappy so furiously, he had to press his fingernails into his palms to keep himself from it. He angrily shakes his head in the shower, and water droplets fly everywhere. Fucking _enough_ already!

It's partly the thought of “I need to get over this fucking shit” and partly some perverted form of self-punishment, but Will decides to go for his special sort of distraction. He dries off, puts some moisturizer on his sun tan skin, blow dries his hair and plucks a stray hair from in between his eyebrows. And then he very calmly gets some lube and his newest butt plug and locks his bedroom door behind him.

The plug is the first one he ever bought himself. The other two he owns were presents from Pasta and one of his old hookups. They were nice, but this time, Will actually did some research and then spent some serious cash on a big plug in a dark shade of crimson. It's bigger than the other ones and Will has to open himself up thoroughly with two fingers until he can fit it in. He uses a lot of lube, mostly because it feels good but also because it makes the whole extraction thing way easier later.

It's a snug fit, but after he has put his swimming shorts and his oldest “Maple Leaf Hockey” shirt back on, you can't see anything. When he clenches down on it, the plug grazes his prostate ever so slightly. It's enough to be thrilling but not enough to give him an awkward boner in the middle of their barbecue. At least that's what he hopes. Oh well, no risk no fun.

“Willy!” Nicky shouts when he comes through their garden gate. He looks good, well rested and tan and his “crazy shark eyes” as Will's mom calls them lovingly, gleam with joy. They go for a proper hug and Will breathes in Nicky's cologne and the faintest smell of summer sweat. After he has greeted everyone in the family - “Jesus Michael, I always forget just _how_ many kids you guys have!” - they sit down at their huge garden table and watch Michael grill some steaks. Will's mom brings out some salads and his little sisters swarm Nicky and tell him about their summer and the fish they caught and how they beat Will and Alex at Mario Cart a few days ago. “Oh shut up, it was a lucky win!” Alex growls, before looking back down at his phone. “Language!” their mom admonishes. Nicky laughs his deep laugh and takes another sip of his beer. Will watches his Adam's apple bob and squirms a little on the bench so the plug taps on his prostate again.

They sit down to eat and by the time they are done, the first mosquitos are out. Will has had two beers and is sporting the slightest of buzzes. His sisters have gone to play with some kids down the street, Alex is god-knows-where talking to Elin on the phone and it's just Nicky, Willy and his parents. Nicky sits next to Will and now and then their legs and feet will touch under the table. Will grins and presses his knee into Nicky's and Nicky doesn't pull back. He grins too and then wraps his ankle around Will's. Will wants to take off his shirt, because it suddenly got a million degrees hotter just now, right?

Michael's phone rings halfway through Will's third beer. “Fuck” he exclaims, when he ends the short phone call. “Language” his wife sighs again. “That was Eric from the golf club. Apparently I forgot to sign something for that charity thing next month and they wanna send it out today.” Will's mom rolls her eyes. “Seriously,” she says. “If you didn't have your head screwed onto your body, you'd forget that too and leave it lying around somewhere in the morning.” Nicky and Will chuckle into their beer bottles, because this is not the first time they have heard this exchange. Michael sighs. “I know, I know. But- Would you-” he blinks his lashes at his wife a few times and makes some serious puppy eyes. “Would you maybe drive me down there real quick? I've had too many beers to drive.”

*

“We'll be back in half an hour,” Will's mom shouts out of the car window when they leave their driveway. Will and Nicky wave and laugh a bit and then they are alone. “So,” Nicky says and turns to Will. “How was your summer so far?” Will snorts a loud and unattractive laugh. “Really? _That's_ the smalltalk topic you're going for, Backy? How was your summer?” Nicky grins. “What? My smalltalk not good enough for you? What would you rather talk about, huh?” Will rakes his fingers through his blond hair. He can see Nicky track the movement with his eyes. “Oh, I don't know,” he replies lightly. “Maybe we could talk about that time you put your tongue in my mouth and how we can make that happen again?” Nicky chokes on his beer.

“Dude,” he hisses when he has stopped coughing his lungs up. “We're in your parents' garden and your siblings are everywhere. Maybe it's not the best place to have a conversation like this?” Will rolls his eyes but then he has an idea. He gets up from the bench – plug grazing the good spot again – and grabs Nicky by the arm. “I agree,” he says and points to the garden shed at the bottom of the garden. “Come help me find some pool toys instead?” Nicky looks at the shed and then looks back at Will. “Are you serious right now?” Will's grin is his only answer.

He has barely locked the door of the tiny shed behind them and turned around, when Nicky is on him. Their mouths fit together just as perfectly as the last time and Will can taste beer and barbecue sauce on Nicky's tongue when he circles it with his own. He grabs fistfuls of Nicky's hair while Nicky scrunches up Will's ratty shirt and lets his hands wander over his toned stomach and the small of his back. “Fuck, Willy, I thought so fucking much about this after we came back from Germany” he murmurs in between kisses. Will nods. “Can relate” he replies before diving back into Nicky's mouth. His fingers automatically go for the bulge in Nicky's shorts and he squeezes it lightly. The strangled moan from Nicky's mouth is the most gratifying thing Will has heard in a long, long while.

“Will-” Nicky sighs and walks him backwards until he is pressing him up against the dusty workbench in the corner of the shed. “Willy, your parents are coming back soon. We should- We should really- _stop_.” The last part of his sentence comes out a bit breathless, because Will has snuck his hand into Nicky's pants and gone straight for his hard, leaking dick. Time really _is_ of the essence here after all. It feels good in Will's hand. Thick and heavy and a bit sticky at the head. Will goes down on his knees so fast he is sure he'll have a bruise on his right knee tomorrow, but it will be totally worth it. He pulls down Nicky's shorts and boxers in one go and then takes in the sight of Nicky's impressive dick. The dude is hung. Like seriously hung. Will's mouth waters.

Nicky moans again when Will opens his mouth and takes him in slowly. He threads his fingers through Will's hair when Will sucks in his cheeks and slides down on the shaft, humming a little with pleasure. “Oh fuck,” is all that Nicky manages to breathe out. Will couldn't agree more. He loves sucking cock. It's so gratifying, so good to make somebody come apart. To make somebody moan, just like Kappy when he fucks his girlfriend and Will hears him through the wall. Kappy. Fucking _Kappy_.

Will pulls off and glances up at Nicky through his lashes. Nicky looks like he is about two seconds away from giving Will a facial, and normally Will would be okay with that, but he literally needs to get the stupid fucked out of him right now. “I want you to fuck me,” Will says and Nicky groans. “Fuck yes, that-” He licks his lips. “I'd love to do that, but _dude_! We're in a garden shed and we don't have condoms or lube or-” Will gets up and takes a condom out of his shorts pocket. He put it there earlier, because he likes to be prepared. Also, he had hoped to maybe come up with an excuse to go on a car ride with Nicky to get ice cream for dessert or something. This though – _this_ is much better.

Nicky gapes at the condom and then starts giggling. “What the fuck? Are you always carrying around condoms in your pockets?” Will gives him his slyest grin and then kisses him with generous amounts of tongue. “Nope. Just when I know we'll get a very hot guest for lunch.” Nicky snorts. “Aw Willy, way to make a guy feel special.” Will takes off his shirt. Nicky swallows. “Okay, but-” he continues in a much raspier voice. “What about lube? I have a huge dick, we'll definitely need some lube for that!” Will takes off his shorts and boxers, turns around and bends over, hands on the work bench. He sticks out his ass and hears Nicky gasp. When he turns his head, he can see Nicky gape like he just had a stroke. “I think I used enough lube when I put this in,” Will says innocently. “But maybe you should take a better look, just to make sure?”

“Holy fuck!” is all that Nicky manages, before he pulls off his own shirt and rips the condom wrapper open to hastily suit up. When he _finally_ comes up behind Will and let's his hand stroke down Will's spine and ass, until he can grip the base of the plug and twist it, Will is already trembling with need. “Fuck, Nicky, please,” he whines and pushes out his ass a little more. “Please, Nicky. Just take it out and fuck me!” Nicky shushes him, but he grips the base of the plug a little firmer and pulls. With a wet sound it comes out and Nicky whispers almost reverently “That's it. So nice and opened up for me.” It's probably the sexiest thing Will has ever heard.

He lets his forehead fall down on the work bench and widens his stance a bit. Nicky puts the plug next to his arm on the bench and then grips Will's hips. “Ready?” he asks quietly. “Yes, please!” Wills replies. And then Nicky just pushes in with one smooth slide and Will sees stars. Fuck, Nicky is so big and thick and Will has never felt so fucking full in his entire life. Nicky makes one punched out groan and then pulls almost all the way out before pressing back in. His fingers still gripping Will's hips like he is a fucking lifeline.

They settle for a rhythm that is too urgent to be slow. All Will can hear is the buzzing in his ears, their ragged breathing and the sound of Nicky's hips slamming into his own ass. “Fuck, fuck, fuck” Nicky chants. Will grips the work bench a bit harder. He wishes Nicky would put a hand on his dick. He needs to come so badly, his teeth almost ache with it. “Nicky-” he starts but Nicky shushes him again. “I got you,” he murmurs and sneaks his right hand around to grip Willy's cock. The skin on skin contact is so good that tears form in Will's eyes. “I got you,” Nicky says again and starts pumping him in the same rhythm as he fucks into his ass.

It takes an embarrassingly short amount of time before Will can feel his orgasm unfurl low in his gut. He gasps as Nicky speeds up and then there is nothing but white heat behind his eyes and he can't see or hear or control his limbs, he just shouts and comes in long white spurts all over the dusty floor and the ruddy old work bench. He barely registers Nicky slamming into him a few more times and then coming inside of him. Only when Nicky loosens his grip on Will's hips to softly pull out and dispose of the condom, does he blink himself into reality again. “Holy fucksticks,” Nicky says. “Yup.” Will breathlessly replies.

By the time Will's parents come back, they are back at the garden table. Wills butt plug is safely hidden in his bedside drawer in his bedroom and the condom wrapped in toilet paper and stuffed deep in the trash can. There is no evidence left. But Will is sure that there might just as well be a fucking neon sign above their heads, screaming “We just fucked like bunny rabbits!” at everyone who will look at it. Luckily his parents are blind idiots and they don't seem to notice. When Will gets into bed much, much later that night, he can still smell Nicky all over himself. For almost 20 minutes today, he hasn't thought of Kappy. Will is kinda proud of himself. 

*

Will usually doesn't overthink things. On gamedays he will be calm, right until his skates hit the ice for the first time. He doesn't angst ahead of time. He's really good at that. So when he climbs into his seat on the plane back to Toronto, he doesn't think about the fact that in just under ten hours he will be back in the apartment he shares with Kappy. He just hopes for a quiet flight and little traffic on his way from the airport to his place in Toronto. It's not until there's only one hour till landing. Then it hits him and it hits him good. Suddenly, there is no more air in his lungs and his mouth feels dry and raw. He chugs two ginger ales and waits for the inevitable.

Baggage claim. He gets till baggage claim. Baggage claim, where he just wants to collect his two suitcases and then get the hell out of there, before somebody recognizes him. Baggage claim, where a tall figure with a backwards baseball cap, a crooked smile and two coffees in paper mugs waits for him. “Hey bud,” Kappy says before handing him one of the coffees and then crushing him into a fierce and one-armed hug. “Had a good flight?” Will can't speak. He nods and tries to breathe slowly and deeply without accidentally inhaling too much of Kappy's smell. Fuck, he smells so good. Will's insides are on fire.

“What are you doing here?” he is finally able to croak out. “I know how much you hate ubers.” Kappy replies loftily. And then, when they have gotten a suitcase each and are rolling them to the underground parking garage, he adds “And I kinda wanted to talk to you without anybody listening.” _Anybody_ being code for his girlfriend who undoubtedly waits for them back at their apartment. The buzzing in Will's ears becomes deafening.

Kappy waits until they have left the large airport area and are heading for the freeway before he starts talking again. “Okay, so, I know that things have been weird-” he starts and Will can't take it. Can't sit here and listen to his best friend, who has his shit together and wants to talk like Will isn't the biggest piece of shit that ever walked the face of the earth. Like he hasn't straight up abandoned Kappy for the past months, no texts, no phone call, no nothing. Like he hasn't kissed Kappy without his consent, without making sure that he was actually okay with any of it. He knew that Kappy was straight, he knew Kappy didn't want any of it and he _still_ pressed his lips to Kappy's and pretended. “I'm in love with you” Will blurts out loudly.

Twelve seconds. That's how long it stays absolutely silent in the car. Will is actually impressed with Kappy for not even swerving in their lane. He just keeps on driving, his huge hands safely on the wheel. Will's own hands are shaking badly. He tries to swallow. It doesn't work that well. “Well,” Kappy finally says a little quieter than before. “You have a really weird way of showing that, bud." Will chances a glance at him. Kappy looks so sad all of a sudden.

“The entire summer I tried to call you and text you but you had blocked my number. And I was freaking out, that I had reacted like shit to that kissing thing-” Will winces a little at that. “And I wanted so badly to talk to you and make sure that you were alright, that _we_ were alright! And I couldn't talk to anybody about what had happened, because I couldn't exactly tell my girlfriend and all of our other friends are _your_ friends too and I didn't know who knows that you're gay and-” Kappy's voice finally breaks. He takes two steadying breaths and Will watches his chest rise and fall. He has never felt so low in his life.

“I'm sorry” he offers in a very small voice. He doesn't know what else to say. There _is_ nothing else to say. Unless he wants to state the obvious, which would be “You are way too good for me and I don't deserve a friend like you!” But he doubts that Kappy wants to hear that right now. “If you want me to move out-” he eventually adds, and now Kappy finally does swerve in their lane.

“ _What_?” he asks in a shrill voice and when Will looks up from his clenched fingers around his coffee cup, he notices the panic in Kappy's face. “I don't want you to fucking move out! Why would I want that? I want- You're my best friend, man!” Will smiles a little at that. Yeah, he really doesn't deserve Kappy. His theory is proven, when Kappy adds “Unless it makes it easier for you, of course. I mean, I don't want you to feel uncomfortable or anything!” Will wishes somebody would just shoot him in the face or something.

When Kappy parks the car in their garage, they silently sit in the darkness for a few seconds. “I have a girlfriend,” Kappy says. Will turns to look at him and wrinkles his forehead. “I know that, dude,” he replies. Kappy looks back at him. “I am so sorry, Will. I didn't mean for you to fall in love with me.” Will smiles a little sadly. “I know. Relax. I'll- I'll get over it, alright?” Kappy nods. Another few seconds pass in silence. Then Kappy asks “So, is it my killer bod or my insanely hot personality that does it for you?” Will throws his empty coffee cup at him with a startled laugh. It's the first time he has genuinely laughed in forever.

*

It's surprisingly easy to fall back into their old routine over the next few days. They get up in the mornings, have breakfast with Kappy's girlfriend and then drive to practice. The new rookies are good and fit in nicely and the friendly back-and-forth with the old members on the team comes as easy as slipping into an old shirt that you have worn happily for years. Every now and then there will be an awkward moment with Kappy, like when they accidentally bump into each other on their way back from the showers completely naked, but Kappy just moans like he's a porn star and then asks Will “Was it as good for you as it was for me?” It's inappropriate but it makes Will genuinely double over with laughter, so they are fine. It's fine. Seriously. So _very_ fine.

It's not until they accidentally switch their phones that shit gets really weird. Usually Will has a bright yellow case around his phone. He drops it way too often to _not_ have a protective case around it, but last night he spilled tomato sauce on it and had to take the case off to wash it. He of course forgot to put it back on and so Kappy grabs Will's phone by accident when he heads off to his date night. Will doesn't even notice, until Kappy's phone rings a bit later that night. The display says “Babe”, surrounded by little pink hearts and shooting stars. Will blinks at it a couple of times.

“Hello?” he finally answers. “Dude,” Kappy says in a weirdly strangled voice. “We switched phones. I took yours by mistake when I headed out.” Will is putting his leftover chicken parmesan in the microwave to heat it up. “So?” he says. “You'll be back in a few hours anyway, right?” Usually Kappy ignores his phone whenever he is on a date with his girl. Will is surprised Kappy even noticed it wasn't his own phone in the first place. “Yeah, but-” Kappy says and then clears his voice a few times. “You are getting a lot of texts,” he finishes. Will frowns. “From whom?” There is another weird little silence. “Bäckström” Kappy answers. “And, they are- erm, _private_.”

_Of course_ this would be his fucking luck, Will thinks a little hysterically while he waits for Kappy to return from his date. Nicklas Bäckström sending him raunchy texts, the _one_ fucking night when Kappy could see them. If he weren't so scared that Kappy is about to freak the fuck out, the situation would actually be quite funny. He hits the buttons on his Playstation controller a little harder. Just his fucking luck.

Up until now, Kappy has been _so_ understanding. So cool with the whole gay thing, so cool with Will's stupid feelings all over the place. Not once has he flinched away, when Will accidentally touched him. Not once has he made a stupid gay joke. Instead he made sure that Will felt comfortable, tried to include him whenever he and his girlfriend watched a movie or went out to go grab lunch downtown. He has been so fucking chill with everything, but judging by his weird voice on the phone, this is the fucking straw that finally broke the camel's back. Who knows what kind of weird shit Backy sent in his texts. Oh _god_ , Will just hopes there weren't any pictures. He groans and buries his face in his hands, jamming the little joystick-thingy on his controller into his right eye. For fuck's sake.

*

When he hears Kappy's key in the lock, Will steels himself for the full shebang. The whole panic about Will actually liking stuff up his butt. Sure, it's one thing to say “It's alright you're gay, dude!” but being confronted with actual gay sex usually doesn't go over that smoothly with a lot of straight guys. Will knows. He has first hand experience. A _lot_ of it.

Like when he came out to his best friend from juniors. Who also claimed to be fine and then went off the rails, when Will sucked another team mate off in the shower of their hotel room and his friend walked in on them. They never talked about it, but all of a sudden his friend decided to have another room mate on their road trips. Will was too scared to ever bring it up and their friendship fizzled into nothingness shortly after.

So now Kappy, Will thinks. Kappy will be infinitely worse. Not only because Will is still stupidly in love with him. He is handling that pretty fucking well, if you ask him. No, but because Kappy is a much, _much_ better friend to him than anybody else ever was. Because he had actually started to believe that Kappy really was okay with all of it. That Kappy actually had his back and would never leave Will hanging. Will has a promotional sticker of a Swedish rock band on his wall above his desk, back home in Stockholm. It says “The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result”. He supposes that applies to the situation perfectly.

Finally Kappy comes into view. He is still wearing his jacket and his hair looks a mess. Like he raked his fingers through it a lot. He's alone, which is weird. Usually his girlfriend stays over after they are on a date. She's still living with her parents, so sexy times usually happen in Kappy's bedroom. Kappy throws Will's phone on the couch next to him. It flops against the pillows. Will can see an endless stream of texts littering the lock screen.

“I did _not_ need to know that Bäckström is such a fucking chatterbox in the sheets,” Kappy says with a pained smile and chuckles a little. It sounds fake somehow. Like he wants to make fun of a situation that actually makes him nauseous. Will grimaces a bit. “Sorry” he says. “Won't happen again.” Kappy shakes his head and continues smiling that fake smile of his. “Nah,” he says. “You do you, man. I'm off to bed.” He waves over his shoulder before he walks into his bedroom and closes the door behind him, leaving Will sitting alone on the couch. He couldn't even ask Kappy why he came back home alone.

*

Will isn't surprised that Kappy is withdrawn and distant after that. Still it hurts like a motherfucker, but it was to be expected. They usually go everywhere together, but now Kappy will go out for breakfast with his girlfriend and leave Will to get to the rink for practice on his own. After a few days, even the others on the team pick up on it. “Everything alright with you two?” Marty asks Will quietly over the quinoa salad their team chefs prepared for them. Will nods and shovels some more food in his mouth. If he chews vigorously enough, he doesn't have to answer and that is always great these days.

Marner isn't as easy to put off the scent though. “What's wrong with you and Kappy?” he asks from the treadmill next to Will's, when they are at the gym the next day. “You guys fight or something?” Will cranks his speed up some more and shakes his head. “No. Just giving each other some space, is all.” Mitch frowns a little and gives Will a suspicious sideways glance. “Okay” he finally replies, but his voice goes up at the end, like it's a question. “You wanna carpool back with me and Matts? We could pick you up tomorrow morning, so you can get back to your car here. Gotta save the environment, man!” Will snorts. “The fuck do _you_ know about the environment, Marns?” “There's an island of garbage in the ocean that is the size of _Alaska_!” Mitch replies in an agitated voice and Will laughs so hard, he has to hit the emergency stop button on his treadmill to keep from toppling over.

*

Even though the latest events haven't exactly given him much confidence in the “Everyone is going to be cool about this” department, Will comes out to a few team members over the next week. He figures it's about damn time he did it anyways and he also wants Kappy to be able to speak with someone about this. After all that Kappy has done for Will, he wants to make it a little easier on him. Maybe if Kappy can talk to somebody and figure this shit out, he can start acting normal around Will again. Will wants that. _Badly_.

So he starts with Mo – the obvious choice – and receives a big hug and a teary-eyed support speech. And then Will has to endure the weirdest, most awkward five minutes of his fucking life, when Mo actually lectures him about safer sex and how he has a responsibility now and does he want Mo to come with him to a gay club maybe, so Will can meet a nice Canadian boy and be happy?! After many versions of “No, thanks, that's nice, but _no_!” Will finally makes it out of the otherwise empty locker room in state of mild panic. The thought of Mo being his straight wingman in a gay club leaves him somewhere in between violent giggles and devastating nausea.

Marner and Matthews take it a lot better, unless you count the fifty dollar bill that passes from Mitch's to Auston's hand five seconds after Will comes out to them. “What?” Auston says defensively, when he notices Will's stare. “You're too pretty and-” he waves his hand in the direction of Will's face, “facially perfect to be straight! I _had_ to take that bet!” Mitch huffs. “Yes, and _I_ try to stay away from stereotyping,” he replies haughtily. Will laughs. “Your mom stays away from stereotyping,” Auston murmurs. After that, Will basically just tries to jump out of the way before Mitch and Auston start their inevitable wrestling match. It's too easy to accidentally get a stray finger jammed into his eye or something. It has happened before.

He also tells Freddie, who doesn't seem surprised in the least. Will is starting to wonder how fucking _obvious_ his gayness is. Then again – weird goalie powers. “Let me know if you need Fowler's telephone number,” Freddie finally says with a grin, before putting some tape on his stick. “Cam Fowler?” Will asks. “ _Really_?” Freddie shrugs. “You guys would make a cute couple.” Will wrinkles his nose. “Nah, I don't do D-men,” he says. Freddie pulls up his eyebrows. “Really? I thought gay guys were all about the D.” If Will has to squirt his water bottle at him for that, nobody can really blame him.

That leaves Will with Coach and Shanahan. He asks them for a meeting right after training camp, and he even wears his best button-down for the occasion. This morning, Kappy had walked into the kitchen and blushed violently when he saw Will in it. “Why are you so fancy?” he asked into the vague direction of where Will was sitting at their kitchen island. “Got a meeting with coach,” Will replied. “I'm gonna tell him I'm gay.” The carton of orange juice in Kappy's hand hit the floor at that. A big fat splash of juice and pulp flying out and smearing the white tiled floor. Kappy cursed and scrambled for some paper towels. “That's- that's great, Willy,” he finally said when he was done mopping up the mess. Somehow, Will hadn't believed he actually meant it.

“So,” Shanahan says, when Will and Babcock are seated in front of his desk. “You wanted to talk to us about something?” Will nods and rubs his sweaty palms on his jeans. The carpeting in this room suddenly seems to be the most interesting place he could possibly look. “Yes,” he manages to say. “I- um, I have told a few of the guys during these past few days and- um, I'm- gay. Actually.” Breathe in, breathe out, Will tells himself. Has someone actually ever vomited into this office before? He thinks he might be the first one to do it. Wouldn't _that_ be a funny story to tell one day.

Shanahan clears his throat, before saying “William? Would you maybe look up?” Will raises his gaze with herculean effort. Shanahan looks completely unfazed. As if Will hasn't just told him the biggest thing ever! “We know you're gay, son.” Babs interjects in his weird drawl, before Shanahan can continue. Will's head snaps around. “W-what?” Babs chuckles a little. “Don't you think we do our research before we sign players?” he says. His tone is friendly and his smile genuine. Shanahan nods at his words. “We do indeed. And if you tried to keep this a secret, you did a truly horrible job,” he says almost cheerily. “Many of your old teammates in Sweden told us you liked kissing boys. And judging by the awe in their voices, I'd say at least two of them were on the receiving end of your kissing.” Will blushes so violently, he can actually feel his own pulse in his cheeks. Babs chuckles again. “My daughter will be terribly disappointed,” Shanahan says with a wink.

*

“How'd it go?” Kappy asks, when Will comes back home a little later with visible sweat stains under his arms. Kappy wears an old Suomi Hockey shirt and sweatpants and lounges on their couch, while playing NHL 17 on their playstation. He never hangs out shirtless anymore. Will doesn't know whether to be pissed off or silently grateful. “Weirdly good,” he answers and flops on the other end of the couch. That is new too. Usually, they would practically sit on each other's laps. Now there is a firm safety zone around Kappy. Two feet is too big a distance for the gay to transmit, Will thinks bitterly.

“Yeah?” Kappy asks. “They make you sign some non-disclosure agreements or anything?” On the screen, his center has just turned over the puck and now the D-men are scrambling backwards, trying to prevent a goal. Will swallows back the bile that has risen in his throat. Non-disclosure agreements. Right. Because god forbid anybody finds out about his shameful sexuality. “No,” he says with an almost even voice. “Actually they already knew.” Kappy presses the wrong button and his goalie fumbles the puck. The opposite team scores on him and the slow motion replay of the move fills the screen of their huge ass tv.

“ _What_?” Kappy asks shocked. “What do you mean, they _knew_?” Will shrugs. “They do their research on players before they sign them. And they knew I was gay before they even drafted me. They have had plans in place for years. Like, if I get outed or decide to come out myself. Everything already planned out. They have my back.” _Unlike you_. That's the part Will doesn't say. Judging by Kappy's pale face and tight lips, he knows Will wanted to say it anyways.

*

Spa day would be a really nice activity with the team, if it weren't for Kappy and his weird-ass behavior, Will thinks as he sits down in the hot tub of the five star spa resort the club has booked for them today. It's a special treat before the actual start of the season, and everyone is weirdly excited. Like they couldn't afford to get pampered at a fancy spa on their own. “I hope my massage therapist is hot,” Kadri sighs next to him. Will giggles and relaxes into the warm water. “Well mine was a six-foot Russian dude earlier, so I think you might be shit out of luck,” Mitch happily replies from the other end of the tub. “Huh,” Kadri says with a thoughtful look. “So more Will's cup of tea then.” Will splashes him and laughs. Coming out to Nazem has been the easiest yet. He had just nodded and then said “Thanks for telling me. Wanna go for a beer?” Perfect bro, right there!

You know who _isn't_ a perfect bro? A very uncomfortable Finnish guy, who completes their cozy little foursome in the hot tub. Especially when he looks like he seriously considers drowning himself, while Kadri and Marns go on to cheerily trying to find out what Will's type actually is. “No no, Will is too pretty for some Russian brute,” Marner says with his right arm in a plastic bag on the edge of the tub. His new tattoo still isn't fully healed, so germy hot-tub-water is a no-go. “He needs someone equally pretty. I'd say dark hair, bit of a beard going on and- hmm, maybe green eyes?” Will laughs. “Green eyes? Why the fuck do they have to be green?” “Dunno, green eyes are really pretty, yes?” Kadri shakes his head. “Good Lord, Marns. Keep it in your pants.”

“Lundqvist,” Kadri finally says with conviction. “He'd be pretty enough for you, Willy.” Kappy has his head tilted back and studies the ceiling lights with concentration. Will sputters a bit. “Jeez Kadri, he was my _goalie_. You don't bang the goalie! That has to be bad luck _somewhere_!” Because seriously, as much as Will loves Hank, but- no. Just no. Mitch and Nazem laugh. “Well, how about Bäckström then,” Marns continues. “You guys seemed pretty tight at World's?” Kappy gets up so forcefully, water actually sloshes over the rim of their hot tub. “Need something to drink,” he mumbles before straight up fleeing the scene. “What crawled up his butt and died?” Kadri asks. Mitch shrugs.

*

It's a day before their first pre-season game against Ottawa, when the other shoe finally drops. Will is sitting on his bed, texting Backy suggestive shit – because that's a thing that sorta keeps happening – and listening to music on his headphones. So he doesn't hear it at first. Only when he gets up to take a piss does he hear Kappy and his girlfriend yell at each other in the hallway. It sounds like it's been going on for a while. “I'm not fucking _stupid_ ,” she screeches and Will is stuck in between wanting to escape to his ensuite bathroom and wanting to press his ear against the flimsy wooden door of his bedroom to hear everything. He has never witnessed Kappy and his girl argue before. Will always thought they had to be the most perfect couple in the universe.

“I don't even know what you fucking want from me!” Kappy yells back. “A boyfriend who actually wants to be in a relationship with me, would be a nice thing for one,” her voice replies. “Then I don't know what to tell you!” Kappy spits and Will sucks in a gasp of air. Kappy sounds so fucking vicious. Will didn't even know he could sound like that. Instead of a reply, Will can only hear retreating footsteps and then the unmistakable sound of their front door slamming shut. A few seconds later he hears Kappy's door close as well, though much quieter.

He's still mad at Kappy for freaking out, but who is Will kidding – he's in love with the guy, even though Kappy doesn't want him back. All Will can do now is be a proper friend. So he orders a huge pizza online and in the time it takes for the thing to arrive, he sprints down to the liquor store at the corner and gets some German lager. Armed with pepperoni pizza and two cold bottles of beer he finally knocks on Kappy's door. He hears a grunt from inside, the universal nonverbal sign for "come in". With difficulty – his hands are pretty full after all – he turns the knob and opens the door.

Kappy is lying on his bed in his ratty sweatpants and a shirt and clicks on stuff on his laptop. When he looks up, his eyes don't look particularly red or anything. Not like he cried. He doesn't even look that sad. Miserable – yes. But not sad. Will lifts the beer and pizza questioningly. “Room for one more?” Kappy blinks at him for a few seconds and then a tentative smile steals across his face. It's the first time Will has seen him genuinely smile at him in days. “Sure,” Kappy says and closes his laptop.

Will sits down on the foot end of Kappy's king size bed and puts the pizza carton in between them. He hands Kappy his beer and they clink bottles before taking a few gulps each. “So I take it you heard what happened?” Kappy asks while he takes his first slice. Will nods. “Yeah. So sorry, dude. You going to talk it out with her later?” Kappy chews on his pizza and shrugs. “Dunno.” Will wrinkles his forehead. “Actually, I don't know if it's maybe better like this,” Kappy continues. “I'm not- I don't think this thing will actually work out.” “Really?” Will asks with genuine surprise in his voice. “You guys seemed so tight.” Kappy shrugs again. There is some grease on his lips and Will badly wants to lick it off. He doesn't. “I've been thinking about a lot of stuff lately, and maybe- maybe I don't want to be with- well, with _her_ anymore.”

“What stuff?” Will asks a minute later. Kappy has not looked up from the pizza since they started the conversation and it's freaking him out. “Huh?” Kappy asks. “You said you had been thinking about a lot of stuff lately,” Will clarifies. “Oh,” Kappy says and he starts to blush. “Yeah. Right.” He puts his second slice back into the carton and wipes the grease off his fingers with one of the flimsy paper napkins the pizza place provided. “Um, so- Okay, maybe you should know. Well-” he sighs and then finally, finally looks up at Will. He looks even more miserable. Like a little kid that has no idea which way is up and which is down any longer. Like a person lost at sea or someone with a terminal illness. Will suddenly feels sick.

“Hey,” he says quietly. “Whatever it is, you can tell me, Kaps!” Kappy looks away to the window, like he is looking for an escape route. “Funny _you_ of all people would say this,” he almost whispers. Will frowns. What's that supposed to mean? But he doesn't ask. He just sits there and lets Kappy breathe in and breathe out before finally opening his mouth. “I- um, I- might. Well, I might be- not-” Will frowns a little deeper. What the hell could possibly be so fucking difficult to spit out. “What?” he says a little breathlessly. “Are you asking for a trade or something?” Kappy shakes his head. “No, no, nothing like that.” Will breathes a sigh of relief. “What is it then?” Kappy looks back up at him, an almost pleading look in his eyes. “I might- not be as straight as I thought I was. Maybe.” Will's world grinds to a sudden stop.

*

There are no words. No words to actually say out loud at this point. Will is vaguely aware of the crust of his pizza slice dangling from his numb fingers, and he puts it into the carton on autopilot. _Not as straight as I thought_ keeps on blasting through his brain on a loop. Kappy is "not straight"? As in "possibly gay" or "bisexual"? As in _someone actually interested in Will_?

Kappy looks like he's about to hurl. “Could you- Could you maybe say something?” he whispers and Will flinches violently. Will clears his throat. “Um- when did you-” he croaks and then falls silent. Kappy still picks up on it. “I wondered for a while,” he says in a quiet tone. “Last season. But it came and went and then I met- _her_.” He doesn't even say her name. Will looks at Kappy's hands. They are shaking and he clenches and unclenches his fists as if preparing for a fight. “I just figured it was some weird sort of phase. But then you kissed me and I felt like shit, because I had a girlfriend and you're my best bro and I didn't want things to become messy. I didn't want to hurt you.”

Will closes his eyes for a few seconds. His mind goes back to that night their last season ended. To the feeling of Kappy's plush lips under his own. The way he hadn't moved a muscle when Will descended upon him. How he had held himself stock-still and waited for it to end. The way he had said “Sorry, Will” before fleeing the scene. “And then you ignored me all summer,” Kappy continues. “I was so scared that you were mad at me and I just wanted it to be alright again. And you came back and told me you were in love with me and I- I thought I didn't feel the same way. That I don't feel anything sexual for guys. I was so sure of that. But then-” Kappy stops and takes another sip of his almost empty beer bottle. “Then I took your phone and I read all those things Bäckström sent you.” Will blushes. Yeah, _that_ was sorta unfortunate.

Kappy's eyes are shimmering in the light of his bedside lamp. He looks almost feverish and he keeps talking as if saying things out loud will maybe help him make sense of them. “He just talked about all those things you did when he visited you this summer and how he couldn't stop thinking about it and I was sitting in this restaurant with my fucking _girlfriend_ and I got so fucking pissed off, I couldn't even finish my dinner.” He rakes a hand through his locks and looks around a little wildly. Crazy maniac is definitely a good look on him, Will silently thinks.

“I got so _fucking_ angry at him for talking that way and at you for leaving your phone lying around and at myself for accidentally grabbing it. I was furious and I couldn't make sense of it. I started a completely useless fight at dinner and she took a cab home and I drove around for a while, trying to figure out why it pissed me off so much.” He hastily gulps down the last of his beer and then carefully puts the empty bottle on his bedside table. Will's hands are definitely shaking now. He puts them under his thighs to keep them still.

“So,” he says after it is clear that Kappy won't say anything else. “Did you?” Kappy wrinkles his brows in confusion and looks up at Will. “Did I what?” “Did you figure it out?” Will's voice is barely audible anymore. The moment feels loaded, important somehow. Like one wrong syllable could shatter everything. Kappy just looks at him. And then he nods. One shaky, barely visible nod. Will waits. “I figured-” Kappy says. “I figured that I was so fucking mad, because- Because I wanted it to be _me_.”

“ _I_ wanted to be the one texting you filthy shit. Like, I wanted to do all that stuff Backy wrote about fucking in garden sheds and how he couldn't stop thinking about your mouth around his- his cock.” If synchronized blushing was a sport, Will thinks, they would fucking ace that. Right now, they are both as red as a Habs jersey. And Will's mind has latched onto _I wanted it to be me_ and replays that particular piece of revelation over and over in his brain. I wanted it to be _me_.

Under the constant loop of a six-word-sentence of course is the noise of a million questions shooting around Will's head. “Why were you so mean to me?” is the one that actually makes it out of his mouth. Great, he sounds like a petulant five-year-old in fucking kindergarten. He chances a quick glance at Kappy again. Kappy still looks fucking miserable. At Will's question, his shoulders visibly slump and he sighs.

“I was- well, _scared_ might be an understatement,” he offers after a few seconds of silence. “I just- I thought maybe I could ignore it. I had a girlfriend and I- I just-” He lifts his hands a little helplessly. “I don't know. I just ignored it and hoped it would go away. And I was so scared somebody would know.” Will swallows against the lump suddenly lodged in his throat. He gets it. Doesn't mean he's not still hurt as fuck, but he gets it. Sort of. Not really. He kinda wants to smash stuff.

“I know I was a dick,” Kappy says. There's that pleading look in his face again. “I knew you were in love with me and I didn't want to hurt you. I was so fucking proud of you for telling people, for telling _coach_! And _Shany_! I was just- I was scared that people would look at you and then at me and draw conclusions. And I was scared that once those conclusions were drawn, it would be much easier to actually confirm them.” He scrubs a hand over his eyes. “I didn't want that. I just- I wanted it all to go away.” Silence falls again between them. 

*

It's a lot of emotional heavy lifting for one night, Will decides and wiggles his legs a bit so he can get up from Kappy's weirdly soft mattress. “Where are you going?” Kappy asks in a suddenly panicked tone. Will looks at him. He's so tired all of a sudden. “I think I'm gonna go to bed. I- Maybe we can talk tomorrow morning or something.” “ _No_!” Kappy almost shouts and scrambles up to stand before Will. His hand shoots out to grab Will by the arm. Will looks down. Kappy's fingers are pressed tightly around his wrist. “Please,” Kappy says pleadingly. “Please, can we talk about this. I don't- I feel like you hate me and I _can't_ \- Will, if you hate me then I don't know what I'm gonna do. _Please_.”

Will sighs. “Kappy, are you even attracted to me?” he asks in a resigned voice. “Like, do you actually want to fuck me or are you just vaguely jealous that Backy got to do it? Because I have proper, actual sex with men. I like dicks in my ass, and the last time I checked, that whole thing seemed to make you pretty queasy to be honest!” He can see Kappy swallowing hard. His Adam's apple is bobbing and Will wants to bite it. Fuck dammit.

“Well, I'd say there is a pretty good way to find out,” Kappy whispers. And then his face is coming closer and closer and closer. This is it, Will thinks. _This_ is the moment he has dreamed so much about. The fantasy he has jerked off to, a hundred thousand times. The thing he has wished for, every time he saw a shooting star. Only it's not. Not at all. Because in his fantasies, Kappy wanted Will because he loved him. Not because he needed someone to test his gay out on. Will puts his right hand on Kappy's chest and pushes.

“Kappy,” he says. “Kappy, _stop_.” Kappy stills. “I am not your guinea pig,” Will says. “What?” Kappy asks, clearly confused. He has no idea what Will's talking about. Great. “I am not the person you can test your new gayness on or whatever. I can't do that. I'm still- I still _like_ you. A lot. And if we do this and you decide that dick is not for you and you're better off with your girl, then- I wouldn't handle that well, I think,” he finishes. Kappy frowns. “You think I am that much of a dick?” he asks and, well, isn't _that_ a great question.

Will just looks away and stuffs his hands into the pocket of his sweatpants. “Willy- hey, _Will_ ,” Kappy says. His index finger is suddenly at Will's chin and it turns his head until he is forced to look at Kappy. “Will, you're my best friend. You told me you had feelings for me. I wouldn't fucking do any of this if I weren't sure.” “Sure of _what_?” Will asks. “Sure that this could be something fucking huge,” Kappy replies. And then he kisses Will, and Will's synapses short-circuit for real.

*

Will hasn't had many first kisses that actually meant something. He has had a lot of kisses that were fun and hot and great. He has never had a kiss that felt this urgent, though. He's never had a kiss that was this loaded, this important. He's still too shocked to do much about it, but Kappy seems to be more than willing to pick up the slack. Like he does on the ice, when Will is tired during the end of practice. Will doesn't have to do anything, Kappy just takes direction and puts his hands on the side of Will's face. Will's own hands fall on Kappy's hips on their own accord.

Kappy angles Will the way he wants him and then plunges into Will's mouth with his tongue. His velvety, warm and _perfect_ tongue that slowly circles Will's. He uses his teeth to nip at Will's lips, places small kisses at the corner of Will's mouth, only to dive back in again and suck an honest-to-god moan out of Will's mouth. When they finally break apart a few minutes – or months – later to catch their breath, Will feels all gooey and soft and his sweatpants are embarrassingly tented in the front.

Their foreheads touch and they both have their eyes closed. Will notices that his fingers have closed hard on Kappy's hips and so he loosens his grip a bit. “Fuck” Kappy whispers. “Fuck, I wish I hadn't done that.” Will can actually feel himself falling through the floor at these words. _Of course_ Kappy would regret this. Of fucking course. The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and all that. Will feels like the stupidest person in the universe.

When he tries to pull away, Kappy holds him firmly in place though. “I wish I hadn't done that,” he repeats and then he adds “because I quite possibly never want to do anything else ever again.” He opens his eyes to squint at Will and the tiniest of grins appears on his lips. “I fucking hate you,” Will whispers because there is not enough air in his lungs to properly breathe right now. Seriously, fuck Kappy so much. “No you don't,” Kappy whispers back and then puts his soft, soft lips back on Will's smiling mouth. No Will _really_ doesn't.

They don't do much more that night. In the end, they just lie tucked together under the comforter in Kappy's bed, trading lazy kisses until they both can't keep their eyes open any longer. Kappy is the first one to fall asleep, even though Will feels exhausted. He watches Kappy's breaths become deeper and slower and his heart feels like it's about to burst. This is real. It's something he can actually have. _Kappy_. Kappy's here. Right here with him. Will traces his fingers over Kappy's cheek and jaw. “Don't hurt me,” he whispers almost inaudibly. “Please don't hurt me, dude.” He closes his eyes and is already almost asleep when he hears Kappy whisper back “I won't.”

*

The next morning dawns with the minimal amount of awkwardness as they get up and each take a shower, before getting into Kappy's ridiculous BMW to drive to the rink. In all the excitement and giddiness, Will almost forgets to text Mitch that his driving services will not be needed today. “So you made up with da wife?” Mitch texts back. Will chooses to ignore it.

“I'm gonna talk to her after the game,” Kappy says as they drive to the rink. He is holding Will's hand over the console, his thumb stroking soothing circles over Will's knuckles. “I'm gonna tell her it's over.” Will just nods. He doesn't particularly trust his own voice right now. But he grips Kappy's hand a little tighter all the same.

“Do you- Do you need to talk to Bäckström?” Kappy asks as they pull into the parking garage of the ACC. Will looks at him. “Not really, we weren't serious or anything. It was just that one time in Sweden.” Kappy frowns a little, but he nods. “I can tell him though,” Will hastily adds. “That that won't happen again. Like- That I'm _unavailable_ for the foreseeable future or something.” Kappy's frown disappears and gets replaced with a tiny smile. “Yeah. Yeah, you should do that,” he says as he kills the engine. “Don't want him to get any ideas.”

They straight up flatten the Senators that night. At the end of the last period it's 6-0 and the blue-and-white crowd is going bananas. Mitch scores twice and so does Matty. Will and Kappy get an assist each, while Mo wears the giant white C on his jersey for the first time and seems to vibrate with joy and confidence. The cameras actually film him while he absentmindedly fingers the white letter on his chest while he is on the bench, an expression of bewildered amazement on his face. Somebody gifs it and it ends up in their team chat later that night, everyone chirping Mo relentlessly.

Will mostly doesn't participate in the chirping. He sits on their huge sectional in the living room and thumbs through the chat, closing the app every five seconds and then checking the time again. It's been two hours since the game. How long does a fucking break-up take? He gets up to get himself a beer from the fridge and then forgets it on the kitchen counter, so he has to actually get up from the couch again to get it. Two hours and twenty-two minutes. What if Kappy decides that it's not worth the trouble? What if she reels him back in with her alabaster tits and her magic ass? What if she's pregnant and just found out and now she told Kappy and _of course_ he can't leave her then! Will groans and slumps down into the pillows. What a fucking mess!

It's two hours and forty-seven minutes after the game, when Will finally, _finally_ hears the key in the lock of their front door. He restrains himself from jumping up and running into the hall, but it's a very close thing. Instead he pretends to have fallen asleep on the couch. If he has his eyes closed, he can avoid seeing Kappy's apologetic face, when he tells him that he's decided to stay with her after all. Will forces his breath into a deep and even pattern. He hears Kappy's footsteps approaching.

The couch dips a little, when Kappy sits down next to him and strokes a few strands of hair from Will's forehead. “Hey sleeping beauty,” he whispers. “Hmm,” Will says back. He can't pretend to be asleep. He's a shit actor after all. He slowly opens his eyes and looks at Kappy. No apologetic facial expression in sight. That's a good sign. “How'd it go?! Will mumbles. Kappy smiles a little sadly. “Was rough,” he says. “She took it badly, but I think we're gonna be okay. She understood, in the end.” Will swallows. “That's good, right?” Kappy's smile widens a bit. “Yeah, bud. I think it is.” “You wanna go to bed?” Will asks. Kappy nods. “Yes, _please_.”

*

It's not like they are the type of guys who wait for ages before putting out. Hello? They are both hockey players in their early twenties. Like, it's nice to get your dick wet, right? Who would actually put that off? So it comes as a bit of a surprise for both of them, that it takes them almost a week to graduate from kissing and a bit of light over-the-pants-action to something less PG-13. Will blames it on the pre-season and on Kappy's recent break-up. He did date the girl for almost a year after all. Will doesn't want to rush it. He wants Kappy to actually want it. And this is all new for Kappy. Which probably means he's nervous. Which makes Will nervous. And so they wait and make out a little more.

They have a night off, a few days after that whole _Let's pour our hearts out and then kiss the rest of the night_ drama show. Brownie and Mitch bullied everyone into going out to blow off a little steam before the official start of the season, but Kappy and Will both bowed out. And not that anybody actually said it out loud, but Will assumes they both sorta know, that tonight might be "the night". For some weird reason he has that old Spice Girls song about _two becoming one_ stuck in his head, which he valiantly tries to shut down. That stuff is not exactly sexy.

After they have demolished the ridiculous amount of sushi they ordered, they stay on the couch, Kappy plastered to Will's back, effectively spooning him into the cushions. They watch an old re-run of some Law & Order episode, because they were both too lazy to decide on anything on Netflix. Kappy has his left hand on Will's hip, fingers dipping just underneath the hem of his shirt. He rubs lazy circles over Will's skin and Will shivers a little and scoots a fraction of an inch closer. Kappy dips his fingers under the waistband of Will's sweatpants.

It's a tiny movement, just Will canting his hips slightly and suddenly Kappy's fingers are much further inside of Will's pants than before. Will can feel Kappy's fingertips on the short curls above his dick and he involuntarily lets out the smallest of gasps. And that is the spark that seems to ignite the powder keg, because all of a sudden Kappy's hand is around his already half-hard dick and Will moans. “Fuck yes,” he breathes out and pushes his – admittedly pretty spectacular ass – into Kappy's groin. He can feel Kappy's hard dick, can feel Kappy bite him slightly on the neck, before sucking what must be the world's most giant hickey on the point where Will's neck meets his shoulder.

He doesn't want Kappy's hand gone from his cock, but he also doesn't want their first time to be on the couch. It's Kappy, after all. _Kappy_ , who has never had sex with a dude before. Will wants to make it special for him. He wants – no, he _needs_ Kappy to really like this and he also needs enough space to properly lay him out and make him shiver and beg and gasp for air. Will has _so_ many plans. “Come on,” he says after scrambling to his feet and reaching out his hand. “Bedroom.” Kappy's grin is a mile wide. “Fuck yes,” he replies as he takes Will's hand.

Will directs them to his own bedroom, because he knows he has lube and some condoms in his bedside drawer and he doesn't really know about Kappy's stash. He was in a monogamous relationship for the past year. They probably didn't need any condoms any more. _Nope_ , no, Will chides himself. No thinking about Kappy's ex right before he's about to get some. “You think way too fucking loud,” Kappy murmurs from behind him and slings his arms around Will's chest. “Do you want me to make you stop?” Kappy asks and places a small kiss below Will's left ear. Will can feel his breath on his skin. He shivers. “Yeah” he rasps in return.

They land pretty ungracefully on the bed, Kappy effectively knocking the wind out of Will. Will turns them around, so he's straddling Kappy and then quickly takes off his own shirt to toss it over his shoulder. It lands on the floor. Kappy's eyes are huge in the light that streams in from the hallway. His hands stroke up and down, up and down on Will's thighs. “You good?” Will asks quietly. Kappy nods immediately. “Yeah,” he says. “You don't have to- I'm not a _virgin_ or anything.” Will smiles and bends down to kiss Kappy softly on the lips. “No, but I want this to be good for you,” he mumbles. Kappy huffs slightly and Will grins. “Alright, alright. How about you just tell me if something is not to your liking, then.” he concedes and lets his hand drift over Kappy's pecs. Kappy nods.

After that, they both seem to go purely on instinct, so no more words are actually needed. Kappy's shirt comes off, then Will's sweatpants and his boxers and finally he lets his mouth wander from Kappy's already swollen lips, over his jaw and down his chest, until he can shimmy down between Kappy's tree trunk thighs and take off Kappy's pants and boxers in one go. Will throws them on the floor as well, joining his discarded clothes. He sits up on his knees and takes the image in. Kappy, lying on the bedspread, already looking debauched and messed up, his lips bruised, his hair a mess and his pupils wide like saucers. There's a tiny bruise forming on his collarbone. Will has used his teeth to put some solid evidence of his ownership on Kappy's body. He didn't know he was that possessive.

Kappy squirms a little under Will's gaze. “Stop staring at me like that,” he says with a self-conscious laugh. Will smiles. “But I like looking at you. I never got to look at you like that before.” “What are you talking about, you see me in the locker room all of the fucking time!” Kappy is properly laughing now. “Not like this,” Will answers. His hand trails up Kappy's thigh, and he leans down and kisses Kappy's hip. “I don't get to kiss you here, for example,” he mumbles. He trails his mouth to Kappy's belly button and gives it a tiny kitten lick. “Or taste you here,” he continues. Kappy moans. “And I certainly don't get to lick you-” Will breathes over Kappy's hard dick on his stomach, “here.” He takes Kappy's cock in his mouth and sucks a bit. Kappy throws his head back into the pillow and pants a loud “Fuck!” into the bedroom air.

Will goes slow, doesn't want to overwhelm Kappy – or himself, if he's being honest. Lost of spit, lots of tongue and steady suction. If the sounds coming from Kappy are any indication, he seems to be more than fine with it. When he feels Kappy's breaths becoming shorter, Will backs off a little. “What do you want?” he asks Kappy with a voice already shot to hell and back. “Huh?” Kappy answers and lifts his head a little wildly. Will sniggers and leans his forehead on Kappy's hips. He loves how out of it Kappy seems. “Do you want me to finish you off like this, or- well-” He swallows once and then looks back up at Kappy. “You could also fuck me. If you- if you _want_.” There's not much light in the room, but he can actually see Kappy's pupils expand at his words. Alright then.

“I've never done this before,” Kappy mumbles a few minutes later. Will is on his back, a pillow under his hips and his feet firmly on the mattress. His cock is lying on his stomach, painfully hard and leaking precum everywhere. “I'll walk you through it,” Will replies and hands Kappy the lube. If both of their hands are shaking, they don't mention it. Kappy kneels between Will's spread legs and opens the bottle to squirt a little lube on his fingers. “Just take one first, and go slow,” Will instructs him. Kappy nods. He leans down and kisses Will on his taut stomach, breath hot and tickling. Will sighs a little. And then Kappy nozzles his way down to tentatively lick at the head of Will's dick, while his index finger circles his hole before pressing in.

It takes all of Will's willpower to not thrust his hips up. “Fuckfuckfuck,” he groans and lets his head fall back on the pillow. “Shit, Kappy, just like that. Fuck, babe, _yes_.” Kappy pushes his finger in and then pulls it back out again. His plush lips are on Will's dick, kissing and suckling, before slowly, achingly slowly taking the leaking head in completely. A sound almost like a sob comes out of Will's mouth.

When Kappy has worked two fingers in and accidentally crooks them just right, Will shouts his name so loudly, he can never look their neighbors in the face ever again. Kappy doesn't stop. He just grins very smugly and pulls his fingers out to apply a little more lube. “Wanna have a third?” he asks. Will nods. Kappy pushes three fingers into him and Will sees stars. “ _Fuck_ , look at you,” Kappy whispers reverently. There is awe in his voice. “So pretty,” he coos while his fingers continue to go in and out of Will. “So fucking pretty, taking my fingers so good. I bet you'll look great on my cock.”

Apparently, he is going to be one of these people who die during sex, Will thinks a little hysterically while trying not to come yet. He's going to be on the fucking evening news. What a way to go. His mother is going to be so proud.

“Alright, stop now,” he forces out, before Kappy can ruin him any further. Kappy sits backs and withdraws his fingers from Will's stretched hole. Will winces slightly before grabbing the condom on the mattress next to them. He rips the wrapper with his teeth and then sits up to put it carefully on Kappy's dick. His perfect, thick and slightly curved dick. “You have the prettiest cock I've ever seen,” he says before he can stop himself. Kappy just blinks at him and then they both burst into helpless giggles. “You-” Kappy wheezes. “That's- well, _thanks_ I guess?”

They kiss again, still giggling and Will sinks back into the mattress, pulling Kappy over him as he goes. And then – after one false start – Kappy finally sinks into him slowly. It's a stretch, because even though they prepped properly, Kappy is still on the big side, dickwise. But Will likes how full he feels, how perfectly they seem to fit together, like a couple of fucking puzzle pieces finding the right place. Kappy holds himself very still over him, his breath coming out in ragged bursts. “You good?” he whispers. Will nods and takes a deep breath. “Yeah. You can move.” And so Kappy does.

The first few slides are a little uncomfortable, but then Kappy props himself up on his arms and the angle changes and suddenly- “Oh,” Will gasps and starts to moan. Kappy thrusts into him in confident strokes, concentration edged into his face. The drag of his cock inside of Will is excruciating and delicious and Will never wants it to stop, except he also wants to come more badly than he ever has in his entire fucking life. He arches his back and meets Kappy's thrusts halfway, slamming his ass into Kappy's hips. There must be noises coming out of his mouth, expletives and half-finished sentences and Kappy groans like he did, when Will could only hear him through the wall between their bedrooms. It sends shivers down Will's spine and makes goosebumps rise on his chest.

“Fuck, Will- I'm- I'm gonna,” Kappy presses out, while his hips already stutter and his eyes go a little unfocused. Will is grabbing Kappy's arms and he just nods a little and then Kappy is pressing his face into Will's neck and _whines_ as he comes. Will works himself down on Kappy's still moving hips and sneaks a hand in between their bellies. It takes exactly one small stroke of his hand to follow Kappy over the edge and spurt his hot and sticky jizz between them.

After a few seconds Kappy pulls out. Carefully and slowly, while holding the condom in place. Will still wishes he wouldn't. Wishes he could have Kappy inside him forever. Might make playing hockey a bit complicated, but hey ho. Kappy goes to the bathroom to dispose of the condom and comes back a minute later with a wet washcloth. He wipes down Will's belly tenderly, wipes the insides of his thighs and even around his now spent and soft cock. Then he throws the cloth into the direction of the bathroom and climbs over Will, straddling him lightly.

His face is so vulnerable and open right now, Will thinks. He has to reach up and stroke a stray curl from Kappy's forehead. “Was that okay?” Kappy whispers hesitantly. Will stares at him. “I mean, I get that you've probably had better, but- like, for a first attempt, was it-” “Oh my god, shut _up_!” Will says with an unbelieving laugh. “Are you serious right now?” He wants to laugh at Kappy, because surely Kappy is fishing for compliments here, right? He has to know that _that_ was top-notch, A+, first class sex!

But Kappy still looks uncertain. “I mean-” he hesitantly says. “Kaps,” Will says gently and pulls himself up, so Kappy is effectively sitting in his lap. “That was – and I'm not saying this for your ego, because _that_ is already big enough – hands down, the best sex I have _ever_ had. Okay?” Kappy blushes but looks way too pleased. “Oh come on, I bet you say that-” “No,” Will interrupts him. “I am serious. I've wanted this, wanted _you_ , in forever. And it was way better than I ever dreamed of, okay? Believe me!” Kappy still doesn't look completely convinced, but when Will kisses him, he seems more than fine to go along with it.

*

Aaah, the joys of social media. It's two in the morning and the Leafs have just won their season opener against the Winnipeg Jets. Kappy got a goal and Will two assists, and since they are sharing a hotel room on this roadie - “This is so _handy_!” Kappy had exclaimed when they checked in and then immediately went to their room to make out and exchange lazy blowjobs for two hours straight – Will is currently lying on one of their queen size beds with Kappy's curly head on his sternum and his fingers in Kappy's hair. His other hand holds his phone and he is looking at a picture Kappy posted a couple of hours ago on Instagram.

It's a snapshot of them on the bus, Will having fallen asleep with his head on Kappy's shoulder. Kappy smiles happily into the camera and the light catches in Will's blond hair. It's a black-and-white photograph which Kappy has titled “Definitely had worse bus rides.” The comments underneath are 60% girls writing things like “OMG so cute!” or “Relationship goals!!!” and 40% their own teammates chirping the living bejeezus out of them. Mitch posted like 500 boys-holding-hands-emojis.

Will clicks on the little heart underneath it and then screenshots the picture. With a few clicks, it's his new home screen. He smiles a little at his phone and then locks it and puts it on their bedside table. Kappy makes a tiny snoring sound and tightens his grip on him. Will closes his eyes and rakes his fingers through Kappy's hair again.

Yeah. Relationship goals and boys-holding-hands-emoji indeed.

***

 

 

Come yell hockey at me on [tumblr](http://jiggyjools.tumblr.com).

 


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